I Would Die for You Part 5
by Amanda Renee
Summary: See Part One


See Part One for Disclaimer: 

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Standing at the top of the stairs Dotty watched as he left.She had heard the entire conversation and had watched a very dejected Lee leaving the house. Her daughter had walked past her in a daze not even noticing that she was standing on the landing at the top of the stairs.Over the past several years she had been amazed at how her daughter had managed to begin building a new life for her and the boys. For a long time Dotty had been oblivious to the fact that it wasn't just Amanda's job at IFF that had turned her life around, it was Lee.She knew that her daughter was totally in love with the man she had just ordered out of their home.Their love and devotion to each other was something she had never seen before.She had just found out about their marriage and she wasn't about to let it slip away.

Taking one last long look at the night Dotty made her way back up the stairs and started down the hall.Peaking her head into the boy's room she found them both sleeping peacefully.Closing the door silently behind her she made her way down to her room and got into bed.Closing her eyes she made up her mind that somehow she was going to knock some sense into her daughter and make her realize that what she had done was wrong.

The next morning arrived without incident the boys slept away the night as did Amanda and Dotty.Dotty slowly made her way out of bed and getting dressed she went down the stairs. As she neared the bottom she heard Amanda yell. "Jamie, I don't care, you don't need to go over and see Tommy today you can wait awhile, I don't want either one you going off and that is that!" 

"But Mom…"Jamie protested from the stool at the island.

"Don't but Mom me I said no and that is final." 

"Amanda…"Dotty said entering the conversation she usually stayed out of the way when Amanda put her foot down but this was going a little overboard.The boys needed their friends as much as they needed their family."I don't see why you won't let Jamie go see his friend for a little while, it will do him some good." 

"Fine, whatever you say Mother…" Amanda replied angrily as she left the room leaving the boys stunned at the mood their mother was in lately. 

Dotty looked to her grandsons and noted the worry in their eyes."Boys it's all right, you mom will be fine she's just letting her hurt come out right now as anger.How are you guys doing?" 

"Fine…" the both responded as Dotty noted that Jamie wore a t-shirt of his fathers and Phillip had on a baseball cap their father had given him, neither item had been worn by either boy in a long time and she knew it was one of their ways of dealing with their pain. 

"Is Lee coming by today?" Phillip asked as he took his bowl to the sink and rinsed it out.

"I'm not sure," Dotty responded recalling the scene she had seen the night before.

"Oh okay," Phillip reached into his pocket and feeling the note that Lee had given him and Jamie he knew it would come in handy.

"We're going to go out for awhile all right Grandma?" Jamie said looking to Phillip.

"Okay you both be careful and be home before lunch." Dotty called after them.She watched as they hurried out the door. She had only seen Amanda like this once before and that was shortly after the divorce. It had been really tough at the end their marriage; admitting to herself it was actually over had nearly torn her up inside.She had watched as her daughter had pulled her life back together finding a job and meeting Lee.The other night when Lee had told her they had gotten married Dotty had been shocked not just because she hadn't known but also because she knew how hard taking that step had to have been for Amanda. She couldn't allow her daughter to mess up her life not when she had come this far.

Getting out of bed was more difficult than Lee had planned.He sat up trying to remember what had happened to bring him to the state.His head spun and he noted he was still wearing his clothes from the day before. It was then that it hit him his Amanda she had asked him to leave. Instead of leaning on him she had pushed him away. His mind reeled as he remembered the words she had spoken to him and his heart began to pound furiously as the lump began to form once again in his throat. 

Rolling to his side he felt something stick him in the ribs.Sitting up for a moment he found the culprit their wedding picture. As he stared down at their smiling faces he remembered falling asleep clutching it tightly to his chest. Picking it up he held it gently, his fingertips touching the glass as if trying to connect his soul to hers for one last time. It was his only link to the Amanda he knew the one that loved him unconditionally the one he had to bring back. His stomach was tied in knots and he wasn't even sure if he would be able to get up and going.

Sitting on the edge of his bed he put his head in his hands trying to get the motivation to function. He had to catch Serdeych he needed to put an end to his terror once and for all but for his heart was bleeding and all he wanted was Amanda.She had become his everything and he needed to see her bright shining eyes and know they were going to be all right. He longed to hold her in his arms and see the smile he had begun to cherish long ago.But he wasn't even sure if she wanted him there anymore.Her words had stung him deeply and even though he felt somewhere in the pit of his soul she hadn't meant them he remembered another time when they had argued and she said it was times like that when true feelings are shared.Did Amanda truly want him out of her life; was their life over before it even began?

"No!" He spoke the words out loud his voice thundering the lone word he couldn't do this not on his own. Life was nothing if he didn't have Amanda. His will to continue was rapidly dropping. 

Going into the bathroom he undressed and turning on the water he stepped into the shower. Closing his eyes he walked under the stream of water attempting to let it ease the tension and stress in his fatigued muscles.Reaching for his shampoo he stopped as he spied Amanda's. Pausing for a second he picked it up. He stared at it and then opening the lid letting the gentle scent that was his Amanda waft upward.It was then he lost it and leaning against the wall he let the tears once again flow freely.There was no use trying to stop them he wasn't in control of his emotions anymore and it frightened him to feel so out of control. 

He wasn't really sure how he managed but he finally finished his shower and got dressed.Walking into the living room he noticed the broken glass scattered across the floor.He wasn't in the mood to deal with it so picking up his keys off the table near the door he exited the apartment.Getting into his car he had to see her hoping just the sight of her would put his mind at ease for at least a little time. 

As he drove his mind began to wander back to Amanda. Several times he was brought out of his daydreams by honking horns and near missed accidents.Reaching her street he slowed down as his stomach began to flutter as he found himself actually nervous to be there.Pulling onto the block he saw the boys sitting out on the front step.Parking his car he got out and noticed that Jamie was crying. 

"Hey, guys." He said as he momentarily snapped out of his thoughts and became focused on the boys.

"Hi Lee," Phillip said as Jamie looked up and quickly began wiping is face. 

"Want to talk about it?" Lee asked joining them on the step as they made room between them. 

For a few seconds no one said a word and Lee knew it was hard for them talking about their feelings especially ones like losing a loved one were hard even more so when a person you barely knew was requesting the information. 

"Lee, what's wrong with Mom?" Jamie finally asked his voice quiet as he looked up at Lee. 

"Jamie, I don't know…she's trying to deal with her pain in her own way…but you both should be worried about yourselves.How are you doing?" He asked knowing that Amanda's change in behavior was hitting the boys harder than their father's death.

"I think all right, it's still hard…you know not able to see him…" Phillip said finally after a few moments of silence. "But it's strange too." 

"How so Phillip?" 

"Well he's been gone so long we never really knew him.I mean we loved him he was our dad but…well he wasn't here." Lee's heart went out to the two young men beside him who had grown so much in the few years he had been in their lives.It upset him to think that any father would leave and not get to know his own children especially two boys like Jamie and Phillip. 

"Well fellas I know that your father loved you very much."

"How do you know that?" Jamie asked as both boys looked at Lee with amazement and wonder. 

"Well the night he died, remember, when your grandma was trying to play baseball?" He waited as they both nodded and then he continued, "Well as you guys went inside to eat your dad talked to me for a minute.He told me that he really regretted leaving you guys for so long and that he really loved you both very much." 

"Thanks Lee, for telling us that. We always kinda figured he never wanted us in his life…" As Lee heard Phillip begin talking he moved so he was stooping in front of them and looking them straight in the eyes.

"No, you're father loved you very much."As he finished he was shocked to find that both boys moved forward and gave him a quick hug.

"Are you going to be here tonight?" Jamie asked as they both hoped he would he was the only one they were really able to discuss their feelings with. 

"Boys your mom needs some time to think right now, but you both have that number I gave you right?" 

"Yeah it's right here." Phillip said pulling it out of his pocket. 

"Good, because I want you to remember you can call me at any time." 

"Okay, thanks Lee. We're going to go to the neighbors for awhile," he watched as the two boys got up and walked away.As they headed down the street Lee knew that they would be all right they were dealing with their pain.Turning back around he stood facing the door wanting so badly to go inside.His hand was raised and poised ready to knock but he stopped. Reluctantly he turned and made his way back to the car. As much as he wanted to see Amanda he also couldn't bear the thought of seeing the same expressionless face looking back at him that he had seen the night before.He would give her sometime while he went in search of Serdeych.

She saw him through the window, standing in the shadows of the morning sun she hid behind the curtain watching as he talked to the boys.It was tearing her up inside to see him so close and not able to go to him.But it was best this way for both of their sakes.A feeling of dread had come upon her from the moment she had spoken the words the night before but she hadn't been able to stop herself. It was almost as if she was standing outside her body hearing herself telling the man she loved to leave.The look on his face told her the pain she had inflicted but she didn't know any other way her emotions were running rampant and she wasn't able to figure out what was right and what was wrong.

Joe had been her first true love and he had hurt her worse than she ever thought possible when he left her and the boys for Estocia. For nights she had laid awake longing to feel his arms around her to know that he truly loved her. She kept telling herself that he would come back that she would wake up one morning and he would be there telling her he was sorry and was home to stay.But that day never came.Instead their life together ended the day she signed the divorce papers, in fact for a short time her entire life had ended.Then her mom had introduced her to Dean and her life had begun moving forward. 

Making her way to her room she shut the door behind her trying to hide from the world below her.Sitting on her bed she saw Lee's picture the one she had pulled out the night before as soon as she had come upstairs.There weren't many pictures of Lee but this one she had taken when they had gone skiing up at Pine Top a time in their life that had been perfect. Gently she touched the glass that covered the smiling face of her husband. "Oh, Lee, what have I done?I'm sorry, but it has to be this way." Hearing someone in the hall she quickly put the picture inside the drawer in the nightstand and got up making her way out of her room and down the stairs.She was having a memorial service the next day for Joe with his immediate family and there was a lot of planning to get done. 

Dotty had heard Lee's car while she was working outside.Standing off to the side she heard him talking to the boys and her heart soared with thankfulness that he was helping her grandsons.She knew nothing could replace the father that they had but if anything came close she knew deep inside it would be Lee Stetson.Watching him with the boys she noted how natural he appeared and wondered why it had taken him so long to get married he seemed to be the perfect father.As the boys left she watched as he stood outside the door. It pained her to see him turn and walk away.

As she watched him drive away Dotty walked back around and went inside.She knew she should have spoken up telling him to come inside she could use the company.Yet she was unsure if it would disrupt Amanda's frame of mind.Tomorrow was the memorial service for Joe and Dotty vowed that if Amanda wasn't showing some sign of improvement she was going to call someone. 

Looking at the time she knew she needed to get changed. She had a meeting and even though she didn't think she should leave Amanda alone she had to be there. It would only last a couple of hours and she needed to get out of the house. Going up the stairs she heard movement in Amanda's room and resisting the temptation to go inside she continued to her own room.

"What do you mean they lost him? Billy that is my family out there!" Lee had lost his temper almost the minute he walked into Billy's office and was informed that Serdeych had been within their grasp but after tailing him for almost an hour he evaded them. 

"Listen Lee, I'm sorry, they were in a residential area and didn't want to take the chance of having a civilian injured so they hung back waiting. He must have spotted them and they lost him." Lee stood there completely ready to lose control as he read the report that Billy had handed him.

"Billy, this is only a few blocks away from Amanda's house…" Lee noted reading the address where they had reported losing sight of him. 

"I know, don't worry I added a couple men and one to follow the boys and Mrs. West.So far nothing has been reported." 

"Dammit Billy, we have to find him.It isn't going to take him long to figure out Amanda isn't dead and I'm not there…." Lee broke before he finished the sentence.

"Look I know we're going to find him.Joe's memorial service is tomorrow…" Billy stopped seeing the shocked expression in Lee's eyes."I thought you knew…"

"No, this is the first I've heard about it, I thought it would be buried for a while."

"So did I but apparently Amanda called and requested that it be tomorrow."

"But that means Serdeych will find out she isn't dead." 

"I know, we'll find him Lee," Lee threw the papers down on Billy's desk and left the office without saying a word.He had never seen Lee like this he was out of control.

Lee made his way to his car and left the parking garage his tires squealing.He wasn't able to decipher the exact emotion he was feeling. Anger had overcome him as the meaning of Billy's words had registered about the memorial service. But he was also deadly worried that something was going to happen to Amanda and he wasn't going to be there to protect her and their family.

Hitting the street Lee knew he needed to find a way to clear his mind but every time he tried to focus on finding Serdeych images of Amanda began to fill his head.He saw her standing next to him and Serdeych had a gun pointed at her a shot was fired and he couldn't reach her in time.Every time she laid dead in his arms and he never got the chance to say goodbye unable to tell her he loved her one last time. 

"Yeah I heard he's back in town." Zack Wellington said from his corner down near the warehouse district. For several years Zack had been a member of Lee's family and even though he wasn't always reliable he was the best shot he had at the moment.

"What else?" 

"Just that he doesn't have a heart and will kill without a care or a need."

"Do you know where he's staying?"

"No one does Lee, man I told you yesterday I can't risk that.Hey look I gotta go before someone sees us…" With that Zack was gone leaving Lee alone as he became more and more frustrated.Suddenly a shot rang out and Lee dove for cover watching as Zack crumpled to the ground.His eyes darted searching desperately for the shooter and finally after a few minutes with his gun in hand he stood and moving to Zack he felt for a pulse.He was dead with a single gunshot wound to the heart.Reaching into his car he pulled out his phone and dialing the number to the agency he kept his eyes open in case the shooter came back. 

"Billy, we're close, I know it."

"Lee, we can't be sure it was him or even related." 

"The bullet is the same caliber as the one dug out of Joe.He knows we're close and he's trying to prevent us from finding him."

"Well we'll check out the warehouses and see if we can find something.Now I want you to go home and get some rest.Go see Amanda be with your family I don't need you dropping from exhaustion."

"No, Billy I need to do this…I have to stay on this case…" Billy heard the desperation in the seasoned agents voice.

"All right…but I want you to come in for the rest of the day, let's go over what we know and maybe we can piece something together." Nodding grudgingly Lee went to his car and drove back to the Agency.

To be continued…


End file.
